CROQUET NEWS:  Rite of Spring: St. John's Crushes Navy at Croquet

18 April 2010
St. John’s College, Annapolis, Maryland, USA
story by Erin Cox in The Capital, Annapolis, Maryland, USA
photo by Shannon Lee Zirkle in The Capital, Annapolis, Maryland, USA

Cameron Coates, Imperial Wicket of the St. John’s College croquet team, wins his match yesterday during the 28th annual contest with the Naval Academy. “We really have to have a healthy sense of irony, because this really is the only sport we could beat them at,” he said.

Perhaps the day's fate was foretold in this overheard conversation between the Naval Academy's new commandant and a member of the school's croquet team.

"Where's the ... what do you call him? The Imperial Wicket?" Capt. Robert Clark asked during warm-ups.

"He's right there, the guy with the yellow ball," pointed out one of the players.

"You mean the one that just missed?" Clark asked.

"Yeah," the midshipman answered. "That's our best player."

Amid the champagne flutes and Styrofoam coolers, the seersucker suits and shirtless beer guts, the revelry, cigars and swing dancing yesterday at the 28th annual Annapolis Cup, the St. John's College croquet team steamrolled the Navy Midshipmen. Again.

The Johnnies, with their quirky costumes and lofty ideas from their curriculum of Great Books, triumphed 5-0 in the contest between Annapolis' two collegiate schools. Only a few blocks apart physically but in opposite spheres of higher learning, the schools come together once a year for a lawn party of Great Gatsby inspiration and competition for a trophy found 28 years ago at a flea market.

"We really have to have a healthy sense of irony, because this really is the only sport we could beat them at," said Imperial Wicket Cameron Coates, the St. John's team captain.

The rivalry began in 1982 when Adm. Leon A. Edney, then the commandant, ribbed a Johnnie named Kevin Heyburn. Edney said there was no physical feat at which the students of the liberal arts school could beat the Navy's elite.

The friendly challenge of croquet was born, and with it a party that's become both a celebration of institutional differences and a rite of spring in Annapolis.

St. John's President Chris Nelson proclaimed croquet the "slowest sport" and invited the campus' guests to "enjoy the picnic and watch the grass grow."

More than 2,000 people did exactly that.

"Oh, you root for Navy; I'll pick St. John's!" Suzanne Bell of Arnold told her friend, Larry Baer of Edgewater, both dressed for a garden party held in 1925.

"We're equal opportunity lovers," she explained.

The Navy team, from the Brigade's 28th Company, sported polished mallets, crisp white uniforms and special sweaters players say are owned only by the 20 members of the croquet team. Each is emblazoned with the motto, "We're not here for a long time. We're here for a good time."

The Johnnies, meanwhile, devise a new costume every year and keep it a guarded secret until the team bursts onto center stage the moment before the match begins. This year: Basketball uniforms. White sweatbands. Knee socks.

"In the early days, the Johnnies had a designated 'temptress,' a woman who enticed the midshipmen to drink so they wouldn't play that well," St. John's Vice President Barbara Goyette said. "Nobody has that problem anymore."

The event has become a draw for both Naval Academy and St. John's alumni, some of whom have a standing date with the croquet match.

"It's the highlight of the year for us," said Citlali McDowell of Reading, Pa.

Her husband graduated from St. John's in 2001, and for the past three years the couple has traveled to Annapolis to spend a Saturday relaxing on the grass in homemade period costumes that catch stares.

"The first year inspired us, and so we came back with pizzazz," Patrick McDowell said. "It helps when you have no shame."

With yesterday's victory, the Johnnies have claimed victory in 23 of the past 28 years.

"We've been warming up for the past few years," said Jon Malycke, a junior on the academy team. "They wouldn't let us come back if we beat them every year."

The Johnnies display a degree of affection for the "middies," including launching the day's festivities with a rendition of the Naval Academy hymn - sung by the St. John's Freshman Chorus, to which it is mandatory all freshmen belong.

In the next breath, however, they sing the St. John's fight song, which is exclusively written about croquet:

O Johnnie as you play croquet
Defend our honor on this day
Your battle cry: Let middies kneel
to the form of Good reveal
O hear us when we boldly say
defeat the middies at croquet.
O ye who books do seldom read
Your unexamined lives concede
Beware each middle girl and boy
We are the Danaans to your Troy!
O hear us when we boldly say
Defeat the middles at croquet!
Amen.

Or as Jason Garden, another junior on the Navy team, put it: "I think we're just one big family. ... It's more like sibling rivalry."